Friday, March 25, 2011

a calm moment on the porch swing of a dreamt-up country home on a perfectly, breezy day where the kites fly in the sky and provoke deep...

I’ve been kind of down on myself lately. I’m not for sure why. 
I think there is a bit of insecurity underlying this new adventure 
I've been on lately. It’s amazing how if you will just take a step 
back and breathe for a sec, clear your mind & refocus, attune 
to Trust, and not allow negative thoughts to dominate or have a
 place in your mind – how quickly things will begin to flourish 
again in the light of enjoyment and laughter with a confidence 
and guarantee that you are really and truly a beautiful person 
that offers life to another.

A few months ago, my dear friend wrote to me just to compliment
a photograph he saw of me.  His words spoke of a confidence he 
saw in me though at times he was certain I had my doubts. I remember 
the words I replied to him well….. They were said in a time in my life 
where I chose to forfeit all rights to speak down upon myself. My words, 
though I meant them, were still words I was telling myself to do.
 Something not quite accomplished yet.  Something spoken from 
a vision and goal I was relentless in succeeding in.

     “Your words are life to a girl who is fighting with every breath 
           to push past the whirlwind of lies this world has to offer…
                                           I will win.”

Lack of quiet. Built up emotion from all things good and some things 
hard. Lack of full understanding. Lack of sleep.  How fast things can 
progress or change.  How my mind cannot seem to fully comprehend 
the ways of my heart.

These are the things that leave me in doubt. (especially the latter.)

Yet here on this new adventure, whatever it is called or however long or 
short it lasts, I think of just a few things to keep reminding myself….

Thank you, God, for such a brilliant season of laughter!
And Your love that is unfailing; surpassing anything that
makes sense.  Your Word truly has become a ballad of
love that has captivated me through and through. You
are beautiful. So beautiful