Monday, October 24, 2011

Wigglesworth & a big hello again...

“There are many things in your life that you cannot
understand. But be patient, for when the Hand of
God is upon a thing, it may grind very slowly, but it
will form the finest thing possible, if you dare wait
until the end of it.

Don't kick until you are through, and when you are
dead enough, you will never kick at all. It is a death
come to death, that we might be alive unto God. It
is only by the deaths we die that we are able to be
still.”                            - Smith Wigglesworth

I've been rooting around in my carpet bag full of words searching
for the most descriptive of sorts in hopes that somehow I can
portray to you all the good and wonderful ways of our loving
God.  (and even so, the ways He is working in me.)

It’s been months since I have written. My hope is to push myself
to write more often now, but perhaps it may be only wishful hoping
and I may take another five months to write again.  Only time will
show you and me.

I’m full of thought. Provoked by the exquisite love of God. I go to
read… Ephesians or Titus or just any book of the Bible and I feel
the tears well up in my eyes and my heart does some sort of nose-
dive and I am totally aware that I am on the brink of  dangerous love.

“He who knew no sin became sin that we might become the righteous-
ness of God in Christ Jesus.”  2 Corinthians

“I have seen their ways, but I will heal them. I will guide them and
restore comfort creating praise on the lips of the mourners. Peace,
peace to those far and near,” says the Lord, “and I will heal them.”

All praise to God, the Father of our Lord Jesus Christ, who has
blessed us with every spiritual blessing in the heavenly realms
because we are united with Christ. Even before he made the
 world, God loved us and chose us in Christ to be holy and without
 fault in his eyes. God decided in advance to adopt us into his own
 family by bringing us to himself through Jesus Christ. This is what he
wanted to do, and it gave him great pleasure.”

As of late, these things are vivid in my heart – shifting my focus, pouring
over me with the purest of love, revealing the beautiful mystery of God’s
goodness and faithfulness, making me strong, and captivating my heart
in a way that, I fear and so hope, will ruin me for good.

I hope to elaborate soon. I hope it’s only a matter of a day or two (not
150) before I write again.  

i want to breathe out what He is breathing in.....
I am being refined in deep ways. I'm in the fire,
pressed on all sides, and I am looking to Him because
I am trusting His plan really is not to harm me but
to prosper me. 

I love Him. 

Monday, May 30, 2011

Sweet Flower

Oh, hello brave girl:

Are you inching closer into the revelation that you are made of a sure and solid piece of steel? That the delicate flower that is pushing through the earth is, in fact, uneasily altered when the wind blows something fierce?
A someone or two once pointed this out to you, but this time, are you beginning to see for yourself? You are strength reformed as a beautiful woman.
I know there are moments when you realize the depth of loss in your life. It is painful, I know. Yet I watch you unmoved and through tears release trust through thankfulness and faith.  Do you realize that your roots are intertwining even more – growing stronger and deeper in faith? Sweet flower, you have grown to know His goodness is ever-sustaining. Never ending.
I hope you are realizing this about your own self.
That lovely person that the world sees is a true depiction of you. Listen well and take it in.  It is that wonderful perspective of truth.
I know your heart seems lost. Unveiled and vulnerable, yet still remains a bright sense of hope.  You carry in you a flame and a beacon. 
Sweet flower, soon you will blossom. The world is waiting with breath held.  And our prayer forevermore will be, “Let your roots go down deep into Love.” 
There is so much more ahead!
 All will be beautiful just in time.

Just in time.
Just in time.


Tuesday, April 12, 2011


I am dehydrating myself in worry now.
A moment ago, I was full of laughter and joy.
Heart unattached in every way.
The next – I am dry to the bone.
Seduced by Worrisome’s  way.

Dehydrated. Like skin married to
muscle and bone. Restricted in
movement. Liberation deferred.

It has marred my ability to see.
My ability to respond. My ability to
receive or to love. My ability for joy.
My ability to LIVE.

I envision a healthy human body lying on
the earth and slowly his body turns from
healthy to leather to sand. 

Philippians 4:6 says not to worry about
anything but in everything … pray, telling
God what you need and give thanks for
all He has done.

So this flesh that already seems destroyed
by fret now must be crucified even more –
to allow a response to flow in joy and

“Then you will experience God’s peace, which
exceeds anything we can understand. His peace
will guard your hearts and minds as you live in
Christ Jesus.”  - Philippians 4:7

I have been waiting for the roof to drop out. And
You are telling me that what I see as the roof is
nowhere close to what the roof truly is…And even
so, You say, “It will never drop out.”]

Photo found here.

Quench my thirst, God, with Your love.
You are my only hope. You, I thirst for.
Come and quench this dry body. Quench me with
Your sweet, unfailing, powerful Love.

I tell my own soul....

Until I am secure in the love of God.
I will not be secure in this world.

May Your Perfect Love come; wash over me.
Like a blanket, wrap around me.
Cover me.
Dress me.

I will not be afraid of the terror at night.
I will not be afraid of rejection.
I will not be afraid of what will become.

I know I can put my full confidence in You.
Your plan is good and You are good.

Secure me in Your love.
Root and Ground me deeply.

Friday, April 1, 2011

from below the ground

The damage has been done. There is nothing bad about it.
Only hard.  It’s that simple inch toward something more,
something better, yet somehow along the way it is exposing
wounds and fears that I did not know still existed.

There is something You promised in the midst of it all. Some
what of a deep, deep treasure. Something I cannot deny and
something I have to cling to – in hope. In faith. It is Your promise
and it is unchanging. It is Your promise and You have always been
faithful. It is Your promise and You will walk with me and hold me
through it.

Your promise of life.
This season – You are.
This moment – it’s all You.

In brokenness, in fear, in confusion, in the place of wounds,
in fear, in fear, in fear…… Your hand guides me.  Sustains me.
All the days of my life.

You can remove all the mountains in my way – if You wanted
to… and even so, You have given me the authority to do so just
the same.

Every step, no matter how painful or hard, is a step of Your
faithful promise.


I say I must biggie on – one more step.
One at a time.


The laboring for life.

All is well; all shall be well.
This is good & this is God.

I will not be afraid; You are in control. I will not be afraid.
I trust in You. Faithful throughout the ages.
You do not change. You remain the same.

Creator of Life.
Maker of Life.
Giver of Life.

It is Your promise.

Friday, March 25, 2011

a calm moment on the porch swing of a dreamt-up country home on a perfectly, breezy day where the kites fly in the sky and provoke deep...

I’ve been kind of down on myself lately. I’m not for sure why. 
I think there is a bit of insecurity underlying this new adventure 
I've been on lately. It’s amazing how if you will just take a step 
back and breathe for a sec, clear your mind & refocus, attune 
to Trust, and not allow negative thoughts to dominate or have a
 place in your mind – how quickly things will begin to flourish 
again in the light of enjoyment and laughter with a confidence 
and guarantee that you are really and truly a beautiful person 
that offers life to another.

A few months ago, my dear friend wrote to me just to compliment
a photograph he saw of me.  His words spoke of a confidence he 
saw in me though at times he was certain I had my doubts. I remember 
the words I replied to him well….. They were said in a time in my life 
where I chose to forfeit all rights to speak down upon myself. My words, 
though I meant them, were still words I was telling myself to do.
 Something not quite accomplished yet.  Something spoken from 
a vision and goal I was relentless in succeeding in.

     “Your words are life to a girl who is fighting with every breath 
           to push past the whirlwind of lies this world has to offer…
                                           I will win.”

Lack of quiet. Built up emotion from all things good and some things 
hard. Lack of full understanding. Lack of sleep.  How fast things can 
progress or change.  How my mind cannot seem to fully comprehend 
the ways of my heart.

These are the things that leave me in doubt. (especially the latter.)

Yet here on this new adventure, whatever it is called or however long or 
short it lasts, I think of just a few things to keep reminding myself….

Thank you, God, for such a brilliant season of laughter!
And Your love that is unfailing; surpassing anything that
makes sense.  Your Word truly has become a ballad of
love that has captivated me through and through. You
are beautiful. So beautiful

Tuesday, February 15, 2011

another thought on Love.

There are so many times when a person can be so
cruel or impatient or just downright hurtful. How easy
would it be to react in the same manner?  To, in a sense,
punish another for how wrong you feel you were treated
or how wrong you feel another was treated.

But it is none of my business. It is not my job to do the
punishing or the correcting. As a friend recently quoted,
“It is none of my business what people think of me.”

But what I have realized, in a quiet moment in the vault
filing, is that my only job or duty or position in wrongdoing
is to generously love back. Not in sarcasm but in truth.

It is not my place to do the correcting or punishing; it is His.
And it is not my place to find out when or how He does the
correcting or IF He ever does. It is not MY story to be concerned
with; meaning, it is none of my business what I think of others.

Of course, we can twist this into many different aspects. Dissect
the boundaries of love and I would agree;  there has to be
boundaries in love. And just as a father, in love, disciplines his son to
teach him the best way to live so must we learn to love in a way that
brings life and change to another BECAUSE of Love.

Father, give us the grace to live our lives in love     
      and as a reflection of the one, true Love.

Thursday, January 13, 2011

You are My glory.

Blessed be the God and Father of our Lord Jesus
Christ, who has blessed us with every spiritual
blessing in the heavenly places in Christ, just as He
chose us in Him before the foundation of the world,
that we would be holy and without blame before Him
in love, having predestined us to adoption as sons by
Jesus Christ to Himself, according to the good pleasure
of His will, to the praise of the glory of His grace, by
which He made us accepted in the Beloved.
                                            - Ephesians

" to the praise of the glory of His grace...."
                Oh, tears fill my eyes as I think of
        Your love!

I said, "Show me Your glory!" He said, "You are My glory!"

Sunday, January 9, 2011

...and how can I love
               unless He loved first?