Friday, February 10, 2012

i'm still here...

Lately I have had this craving.

For adventure, I suppose.

For the smell of a coffee shop and the busyness
outside its window. For the artwork just down  
the road or a museum to peruse through endless
in thought.  I miss wearing peacoats and carrying
umbrellas and walking down the street – normally
feeling bigger than the surrounding buildings.

For romance too.

Adventure & romance. They go hand in hand,
don’t you think?

I’ve been witnessing the very things I’ve
cried out for come true. I’ve watched them unfold
within me and around me. It’s like witnessing a true
miracle. There’s been such joy in this new season.
It’s kind of funny to say, but through the heartache
of the past few years (or rather the healing) – I’ve
found I’m already looking back and some how
missing it.

Not because I felt so close to God then and now
I do not.  No, that’s not it at all.  Rather, I think,
because there was safety and routine and rhythm
in this past season. I came to fit into it and be
content in it as if it were my own skin.

I’m glad things are changing. It means I’m walking
more into my calling. Going deeper still. Witnessing
the very hand of God in my life. I’m working out a
new rhythm with the Lord.  I’m working out contentment
in certain areas.

Things are changing. It’s a new season.
The very one You promised.

It’s a season of life. The blooms fade not. The trees
yield their fruit twelve months of the year.

I’m thankful.
I’m still a little distant. Or cautious.
I enjoy secrets still – just between me & Him.
I doubt this part will ever change.

If you could see me now.
I laugh again. I really laugh again.


mornings & hills